Time to get real. I mean really, real. A good friend of mine asked me when the last time I made a “Life as I See It” post. I honestly couldn’t remember. I made excuses on why I had not done this. Truth is, I stopped writing these types of posts because I began letting fear rule my world.
In the blogging world my “Life As I See It” posts might be considered “Cornerstone Content”. It is what my blog was known for. Somehow in my quest to do something with my life, I lost touch with who I was. The more I listened to what I “should” do, the more I lost the connection with who I was and what my blog had always been – an honest look at life. My hope is you find the honesty and openness valuable.
So here I am, being really real.
Do your friends ever shake you to your core?
Another one of my friends, who I secretly have nicknamed Beastly, has a tendency to call me on when I put up walls. They know why I do it. I have a lot of trauma from my past. While you may think this sounds like a mean thing to do, it really isn’t. True friends want the best for you. They want you to achieve not only your goals but also your dreams. Whatever might stand in the way of doing that, true friends will help you see what needs to be done to overcome the obstacles. That’s what Beastly does for me.
But Beastly doesn’t just say, “Hey, you’re throwing up a wall and acting out of fear. Stop it!” Beastly helps guide me in a gentle and caring manner, often with humour. Yes, I frequently feel like punching Beastly. Probably good most of our conversations are over the phone or text. But nonetheless, I’m either given thought-provoking questions that get me to a point where I realize what I need to do to make a change or I’m given a suggestion of a book to read to help guide me for deeper learning.
Timing is Everything
If I ever meet Gabrielle Bernstein I hope I can share this spirit journey story with her. It’s a little embarrassing but I think she’ll appreciate it.
Years ago I was teaching yoga at the Victoria Yoga Conference. Gabrielle Bernstein was speaking about her book May Cause Miracles. I didn’t feel like going to her talk so I skipped it. A friend of mine had a miraculous life transforming experience that night. Still, I had zero inclination to read the book. I was really happy and excited for my friend but felt that everything was going well in my life. What miracles did I need? Kind of arrogant. But that’s where I was at. I felt on top of the world.
Fast forward a few years and Beastly tells me I need to read the book The Universe Has Your Back. The name Gabrielle Bernstein sounded so familiar to me. I went on to Amazon to check out the book and remembered my friend’s amazing experience at the yoga conference. Knowing that Beastly is usually right about these things and that I was hungry for the same experience my friend had I bought the book.
Spoiler alert – I got that miraculous life transforming experience my friend had. It will take many blog posts to fully explain and uncover everything that has happened. I also expect more to come. But I’ll share a little bit in this post.
Is fear holding you back?
In Gabrielle Bernstein’s book, The Universe Has Your Back she refers to fear as:
Ever feel that way? I do. Frequently. This resonated with me. Deeply. When the going gets tough I usually run. As far away as I can. Even with writing this blog post. I wrote the first draft. Then I couldn’t even reread what I had written. I was paralyzed. There was a huge heaviness in my heart. I prayed. I struggled. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what was going on. So I returned to the book for guidance. What universal lesson was I learning here? What steps am I supposed to be taking?
My universal lesson was simply opening up and actually sharing my life again. Letting the world know that it’s not all cupcakes and rainbows. Shit got bad. REALLY bad. For a long time. I stopped working. I stopped blogging. Life became filled with activity to avoid dealing with my shit. I was running. Finally, I had hit a point that I was no longer enjoying the ride and I had become exhausted. Then, for better or for worse, that’s exactly when Beastly and I became better friends.
So I have chosen not to let fear hold me back. I have chosen to share my struggle with you. Maybe you feel the same way. Maybe you don’t. Wherever you may be at right now, if you ever need this blog post, it will live here, waiting for you when you do.
What lies ahead?
Whatever your heart desires. If you’re open to possibilities. For me, I don’t really know where this blog is going. I’m still a homeschool mom. While I’ve been silent on the blog I’ve been creating a YouTube channel on Canadian politics for kids and debating the crazy exciting times of politics in my province of British Columbia. My passion for politics has not subsided. Therefore I’ll continue to share that with the kids in my local homeschool group and produce YouTube videos on politics. But I am also passionate about social media. Currently, I am working on developing four brands. I enjoy building strategies to help people grow their brands. I especially enjoy working with creatives. So I am open to the possibilities.
Most of all, one thing that is crystal clear to me is that I want to build a community through my blog. To do that, I need to hear from you. Please share in the comments your experiences. Has a friend rocked you to your core? Is fear holding you back from achieving your goals? Are you working towards a goal that I or this community can support you in reaching? Let me/us know.